Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
