I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
