Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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