sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize