Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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