if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize