is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
