My friends, they love my intelligence
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
