So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This is the high leading the old right now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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