i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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