i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
