remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
