sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
