It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
