I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
