Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
