we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
