dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
