I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
