Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I can't put those talents on a resume
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
