so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
