I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
