I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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