Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
