Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
