In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
