8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Actions speak louder than pants.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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