Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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