It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
