this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize