i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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