i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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