This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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