I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
