dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
