it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
