69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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