your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
