Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
