The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
