In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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