Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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