just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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