break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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