I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
