Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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