Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
