Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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