i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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