Say something about gay babies.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize