Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Randomize
