just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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