Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
