The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
