"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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