Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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