I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
being pregnant is like rehab
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
