omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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