Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
