So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
