Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize