why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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