So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
