I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
