I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
